ROUND #2 OF CHEMO: CYTARABINE

It was weird for me to almost be excited for the chemo this second round. Physically, she declined about a week and a half after the first round and it felt as if we were at square one again. She almost stopped walking completely and cried every time I picked her up. She was happiest in my lap, no pressure on her bones. Just sitting with mama. She also loved sitting in the stroller while I took her for long walks. She could be outside all day if she could.

There were moments I broke down. I couldn't keep it together. One time specifically, she had woken up from her nap and I could tell she woke up in pain. She looked at me like she just wanted help. Oh, how badly I wish I could make it so she could never feel pain. But I can't take the pain away from her, only chemo can.

Monday - April 21, 2025
Isla has become very particular about what she wants to wear. She found her princess dresses and picked to wear the Cinderella one. She then picked her brightest red shoes with bows. Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz vibes. She is a girly girl and that has been so fun for me after having two boys. 

Our appointment at Primary Children's was at 12pm. Not ideal, considering she takes her nap after lunch. But we do what we can. We walked into oncology and it was unfortunately busy. So many kids. It breaks my heart when I get glimpses of the other children's faces sitting in those rooms. 

The nurses are incredible. I am in awe of them every time we go in. Isla had to have her blood drawn first and then wait for the results before getting her chemo shot. It seemed like there was constantly someone in the room with us to help keep Isla busy. One nurse in particular came to say hi and Isla loved the nurse's necklace that held her badge. The nurse said, "I think I need to make you your own necklace!" Then she disappeared, not to return until later.

The child life specialist was in the room the most with us. She blew bubbles for Isla, she brought books and toys. It was nice not to worry about how to entertain her while we waited for results. Sometimes that is the most stressful part about these appointments. I appreciated the help.

They got the results and she was able to get her shot in her right thigh. She didn't even cry. Such a tough little girl! I'm incredibly proud to be her mom. Right before we were about to leave, the nurse came and gave Isla a necklace that she had made for her. 

It was the sweetest thing. Isla was so happy to have her own necklace. I actually got teary-eyed. I'm so grateful for all the love that people have shown. It has been incredible to witness and incredibly humbling. 

The rest of the day was fine. She did throw up around dinnertime. And she threw up a lot. It gave me anxiety because if she was already throwing up, how were the next four days going to be? She seemed fine after throwing up, but I was still worried.

Tuesday - April 22, 2025
Isla's treatment has brought things that I wasn't expecting. One of the biggest ones that has started since chemo is passing out. She will get upset about something, cry and then not breathe. I don't know if it is because of the chemo, but it is scary.

Before breakfast, she got upset that I wouldn't give her something from the medicine cabinet to play with. I was holding her and she wasn't taking a breath. Her lips started turning blue. It always freaks me out, so I called for Jordan for moral support. I supported her head and she passed out in my arms. Jordan made sure she was still breathing because her face was still blue. She ended up being fine, but definitely not a way to start the morning.

The home health nurse came at 11:30am to give her the second shot. Isla knew what was coming and was not excited. Luckily, she had stickers to give to Isla that calmed her down before her shot as seen below in the picture. You can also see that Isla is wearing the necklace that the nurse made her the day before.

She barely cried during the shot. She pointed to the stickers right after and wanted to put them on her hands and feet. She really did so well the whole rest of the day. I was relieved because after her puking the first day, I thought this whole week was going to be rough. Besides the passing out, she was happy and playing almost the whole day.

Wednesday - Friday
There isn't much to report. She passed out a couple of times and threw up maybe three more times. We made sure to stay on top of her nausea medication, so she did a lot better overall in that aspect. The passing out is scary though.

One amazing thing I've been able to witness this week is the love that people have for Isla. I was at an event and the CEO of the company didn't mention me or Isla by name, but told a little bit of Isla's story to the room full of people. He then said, "We are going to take 30 seconds to pray that this special little girl will be healed." During that 30 seconds, I was overcome with love from everyone and extremely emotional. I wish I had what he said recorded because it was truly beautiful and I will never forget it. I tell Isla every night before she goes to bed that so many people are praying for her to get better and that she is so loved. She smiles every time.

Ten shots down, only 50 more to go. She really is the toughest girl. We are so blessed to have her. She is getting a PET scan in May to see if the chemo is working. Pray that it is so we don't have to switch to the more aggressive chemo and have a port put in. Thank you for all the support and kind messages. We really appreciate it!

Love, Megan